Mr. Clean, the role that Jason Statham was born to play. picturing it now--movie guy trailer voice In a world....where you need all your messes erased in a minute or less.... rapid-fire montage of close-in jump-cut really violent action Tough customers. Tough stains. long low framing shot of a body leaking blood across a spotless white carpet. Drugs and guns in close background. Footsteps approaching to reveal mirror-shined combat boots. Zoom in to gradually reveal reflection. They thought of him as just a janitor. bald head, sunglasses. Bloody mop in foreground, swung in impressive martial arts kata. Jump cut outward as mop halts, expertly, into bucket. Water is chunky with fresh blood and whatever red-band-trailer gore can be had. Carpet is spotless. The sound of a heavy object rustling into a trash bag. The filth of the city would learn to call him... Stooped over, Our Hero pushes a janitor's cart out past alert Mafia-type goons, jumpsuit improbably tidy. The mop water sloshes, out of shot, and we see the heavy garbage bag sway. Mr. Clean. Coming soon. Rated R for Really Tasteless.
OK so, @Vivian, I'm afraid that there is a conflict of interests here, however seeing as you have found out how to make me tick I'll have to concede to you, begrudgingly. Your first wish directly interferes with my secret ~~but not so secret now and also now moot~~ plans to take over and rule the world with a cat-girl harem. Being that this is the case (and so the beautiful cat-girls already exist), enjoy your seconds The second wish you have forfeited yourself, requesting two items has shown your greed. They would have to be 2 separate wishes as you have used the word 'AND' and as you have failed to read the fine print resulting in this error I am having to inform you myself that there are no take-backs to rectify a mistake, we BaldyBeardies are very crafty after all. Your third wish? hands helicopter manual You didn't specify instantly. Very very crafty Fuels on you btw I can however offer you 1 whole rep for your troubles.
rubs @falcorz head Oh great bearded one, with a shining head as radiant as the sun itself! I would like to announce my three wishes unto you, in exchange i provide many offerings of beard care products. Wish the first, I would like to be surrounded by beautiful catgirls at all times, this is truly a dream I have had for the longest of times, but the confines of reality has made it difficult to fulfill. Wish the second, I would like to have an infinite lifetime supply of cheesecake and chocolate to eat whenever my hearts desire, specially made magically wished chocolate and cheesecake where I do not gain any weight from eating it, no matter how much I eat of it. Wish the third, I wish to have the power of teleportation, the ability to transport myself or anyone I choose regardless of location to anywhere in the world. This shall make my final dream of being able to hug all my beloved GGC family a reality as well. (and i can also share my bounty of inifnite cheesecake and chocolate as well) I trust in your powers, oh great bearded one to make these wishes a reality.
whispers into phone Um, yes excuse me Arbiters? I'd like to report... begins to count, then slowly loses track Uh.... I'd like to report some strange people, they're doing a lot of creepy staring from across chatrooms and one of them seems to be following people and inhaling deeply. Yes, yes, I'll need you to come to the GGC ASAP, please....
I don't mean to offend, because I know it's 2017 and there's so much change in this world, both in what's legal and what's politically accepted. But I don't believe they'll let a duck adopt a dog.
@audio I grabbed a coffee and wrote a poem for your last nick The tomorrow pot of yesteryear yonder When mother asked me for some pot To cook delights tomorrow I hadn't thought to ask her "what?" I knew there would be sorrow I ventured out without a frown Her cooking makes me giddy To meet my friend within my town They made me pay tree fiddy Returning home from town so proud I showed her what I'd hunted "You idiot!" she shouted loud, "That's not the pot I wanted"
Stupid tech moment. Transfer of a very large file to multiple places on the secondary hard drive was going slow. Said drive is old and has its problem directories to access, I KNEW it was on the way out but CBA to clone and swap. Seeing 8K and struggles to resume convinced me it was time. 9 hours later New drive doing the same thing. Some soul and internet searching ensues. To make a long process humiliatingly short, this is when I recall that I had set the download limit from unlimited to about 8 megs a sec....except the speed limiter window was in kb/sec, into which I typed 8. Ladies and gentlemen, and this is a widely applicable public service message, check your units carefully before using them for anything significant.
Meanwhile, William is oh so happy to introduce his mini me. Oh yes, this is mini Wi...Richard. Mini Richard. He's me but little. Isn't it great? Just look at him. Say hi, Mini-Richard! (William picks up mini-me's arm and makes it wave.)
That's what the girls do Trav, they do it to make up the difference for the dudes who wear thier pants around thier ankles. To keep the pants height average in check.
Rubbish, your next holiday is the launch day of Destiny 2 on PC @MilitantCow. And if it's not a holiday, then it's definitely a resurgence of man flu.
Trolls gather, and now my watch begins. I shall take no waifu pillow, hold no checkpoints, father no assists. I shall be no MVP, and win no loot. I shall live and die by my posts. I am the silence in the darkness. I am the watcher for the spam. I am the judge that burns the edgelords, the words that scold the "how do I VC?", the shield that guards the realm of GGC. I pledge my life and honor to the GGC for this night and all the nights to come.
No, a NONtrash community because we keep monetized narcissism in its separate little dumpster fire.
I love adulting. I have a choice between red vines and a grain and protein bar...so red vines it is.
In David Attenborough voice... Riipaas eyes dart around nervously, when he notices it... the fire escape, his path to exploration. He double checks that his family are looking away, and then, like a coiled spring being released, he explodes into a sprint towards the door, the wind flowing through his hair, the tempting glint of freedom... alas, suddenly the ankle bracelet begins to beep as he leaves the 5 meter radius, and BAM, tazes him, causing him to collapse to the floor... Riipaa will not taste freedom today...
I was told you impregnate women and men alike with your mere prescence, James. Then again it's murray who told me this information, so maybe he's just making excuses to cover up the scandalous truth.
Please. Zshell on a ti-85 or a hacked ti-92+, you filthy calculator casuals.
"You see, when a man and a woman love each other very much, the sexual energy actually manifests as cellular data, and is sent via satellite from the man to the woman. That is how i am currently pregnant. Technology is disgusting."
Ardently swirls his cursor around the screen, clicking from point to point, finding his way to the channel creation menu. As he swigs his nearly cold coffee, his winces and instead throws his mug to the side, slamming his fingers down onto the keyboard and entering the name for the new rp channel which would bring joy to many. Suddenly he coughs and dies, and the last hope of an rp channel existing was lost. But his soul lived on within Spark.
cue bald eagle flying over head. the american flag flowing in the background. and a bad ass explosion in the background while I make a heroic stance with sunglasses on, far enough away from the explosion that it looks cool
There's the true reason moogles aren't endangered in a world filled with deadly monsters. They actually actively hunt and devour them all.
An Ode To Falcorz's Dinky Donuts; O' woe for lack of bak'd goods, Thy sparkling sugar shining bright, The sweet taste recognised, understood, Guiding tongues towards the light, Falcorz lures us with their shine, Veiling the risks of getting fat, We wonder, why doth he tease us so? Lo', he's a bit of a twat.
"Idiots arrested after 'Free the Bunnies' drunken fiasco. Hundreds of bunnies still on the loose in Disneyland. Mating. Mating everywhere."
I've legit had an american NOT know it could also be footwear. Which led to some.... interesting results of a young me claiming i wear sensual underwear.
Thank god they don't make me answer the phone. I volunteered, once. Thankfully, they know better.
I beleive the earth is in the shape of a pancake, with a lovely fluffy core, and the oceans are just a maple syrup drizze. The orbit of the earth around the sun keeps the pancake in a constant warm state, ready to eat, and large intergalactic giants are just waiting for thier breakfast time to consume it.
There was once a teapot that fell out of a international plane. It plummeted 30,000 feet before smashing onto the rails of a train track, just as a freight train trundled over it. Carriage after carriage thundered past, grinding it into dust... Supposedly, as it lay there, in a billion pieces, literally as dust, the teapot thought to itself, "at least I'm not as broken as @Rosie 's sleep cycle"...
My mind goes interesting places when you say you had a "bad experience with zippers". I assume a decent handful of you guys may be able to share said experience.
Those "sidequests" are called "Discord" and "coffee"
GGC IPA, Tasting Notes; Sweaty lust, disappointment, poor hygiene, salt, the mouldy dirt that gathers under keyboard keys, energy drinks, coffee, chocolate, sleep deprivation, and an unhealthy amount of cat hair.