Community

Editorial

Advice

What's new in the community? Here's a selection of comments from our members that we liked.
Said by Piloter 2 months ago

Eliminating legacy cruft in ALL aspects of life is satisfying. It comes down to does this (thing/habit/person/relationship) bring me joy or make me a better adapted person NOW, or do I just keep it around because it has in the past? It's hard as hell to let go, to judge from the now and not from the then, but it's rewarding.

Said by Rosie 3 months ago

Here are my two cents, as a mother of two sons, both of whom would fit "societal defined gender norms" and not. I teach them to be accepting of others, by accepting their likes and dislikes and interests as they are. I don't assign gender to their interests. And thankfully we live in an area where a lot of parents also are rather progressive in that thought process where a color is a color, and not gender-specific. If I were to force them to "not like pink" because "it's a girl's color", or tell them they can't choose x thing because it's feminine, and they're a boy, it teaches them that _this is not okay_, and so when they see other boys doing things that you've taught them _is not okay_, they will not be accepting of that child. And then in turn CAN become bullies themselves. Children look to their parents for behavior modeling. If you model that you can't be accepting of things due to gender norms, then they in turn do the same to others.

Said by Shmider 3 months ago

Acting like your significant other completes you is pretty selfish. The same goes if you the kind of person that devotes your entirety to them cause in the end you're really just trying to satisfy yourself by making yourself fee like you matter to someone. Each person is responsible for their own personal happiness and growth and it's unfair to put that burden on someone else. Holding someone back from their personal goals because youre scared of a relatoinship is shitty, but i shoulndt have to say that. This also applies to doing all the work for them, or trying to support them through life. I think the key is to allow your significant other to find their own happiness and meaning on their own and support their decisions with the respect they deserve. The same should be expected for yourself. Expecting your lover to fill any missing gaps is pretty lazy. In the end its only a distraction from you achieving your sweet spot in life.

Said by Vivian 3 months ago

A very good site to help one with building a PC is https://pcpartpicker.com. They help you with picking the parts, as they make sure the complete list you end up with is all compatable with each other. They also have some lists of pc builds, but another site I like to point people towards for that is http://www.logicalincrements.com/. They have a table with increasing price ranges, and balanced PC builds for gaming use. I'd check them both out if you're looking to build your own PC.

Said by DesignerDave 3 months ago

Having your life in order is not just important for men. When looking for a long-term relationship, both sexes need to have their things in order. There's a universal truth about relationships that people tend to ignore until they get closer to their 30s than their 20s. If you want to be happy with someone else, you have to be happy with yourself first. Until you have all your stuff in order, adding another person will only make the things that aren't good in your life worse. The romantic notion that another person can "complete" you is complete horeshit. If you go into a relationship when you are "lacking," you are very likely to eventually tear that relationship apart via some insecurity or issue that you never resolved. What a relationship does in those situations, is allow the partner who is lacking to place blame on the other, rather than fix those internal issues. This poisons the relationship where it eventually ends, or become co-dependent, which is the worst kind of relationship as they tend to become abusive. One partner hoists all their problems on the other until it becomes pure abuse, and they either destruct the relationship, themself, or the partner. So moral of the story: Get your shit in order before your bring someone else into your life.

Said by Vivian 3 months ago

It's honestly desirable for either sex to have thier shit in order when looking for a partner. Generally regardless of which sex you are, and are looking for, you'd at least want the knowledge that the person you plan to live with is stable and responsible financially. Maybe it's just my own personal opinion colouring things, but someone who is financially stupid, and does not know how to manage themselves is far less desirable, because a lack of responsibilioty financially often is a telling sign of a lot of other traits that can be problematic.

Said by Alt 3 months ago

Once you have an emergency fund, you can rest easy that you are prepared for emergencies, and you are in a good financial position to continue saving, investing, or take risks

Said by Piloter 3 months ago

Do the job that's in front of you. Exigencies of the service and all that. If it's way out of the pale, then it's good for later anecdotes and additional experience. At Nike my cubicle name tag always got flipped to Batman when I was out running calls, I thought that was droll.

Said by Vivian 3 months ago

Yeah, true. Like any purchase that's reasonably large, one just needs to do thier research into the current market and determine which product is the best fit for them. Knowledge trumps all, and knowing what you want, and what you need will make you infinitely more likely to be happy with your purchase in the end.